Siopao

She crumpled another clean yellow paper containing a few marks of a wrong plot that she thought was the perfect plot for a horror story. Suffering the stares of her classmates who were disturbed of the noise she made and thinking that she was dumb in the writing activity, she fought them in her mind through thinking of a different story which could bring out the best in her.

She wrote about Jason’s villainy towards his past lover’s family. But she was not interested with the story anymore. Her mind was shouting the question “How could I ever write a story when I am so preoccupied with my problems?” She wrote as fast as her hands could do the tasks her mind was dictating. A few minutes of writing her ideas out, she had finally finished the outline of her horror story.

She didn’t know what to do about her mother’s commands or requests to her. It was as if her mother was like a buzzing bee in her ears. In the middle of the class, she had done for the very first time, the crime of using her cell phone, which has actually been her life line when things about eating and finances get worst. She tried to press it like she could memorize the key pad inside her bag but failure of constructing and typing the right words had occurred. She was alarmed with the thought of delivering her identification card on the bus station late. The next thing that she did was covering her phone with her print-outs about Shakespeare’s Hamlet inside her bag. There, she texted as fast as she could the important details that her mother would do in order for her to catch the bus who will deliver her identification card from Bukidnon to Davao city so her mother could claim her summer job’s salary at the office of the Department of Labor and Employment.

Without finishing answering her mother’s follow up questions in the text, she was now caught in the act of disrespecting the class, not her intentions of expressing it, but she did the crime due to natural forces in her mind. All she had done was to bow her head like she was a puppy who had been kicked by her master. Right after the class, she had let the stares of asking her about the crime passed out. She tried to move on by letting them felt her apology and regret. “Rhea, would you mind going with me? I have a lot of things to ask you about my report” Jeff approached her from the back portion of the room. “I’m really sorry Jeff. Maybe next time, I

have to go the bus station and catch the bus heading to Davao. It’s really important. I’m so sorry” Rhea responded to Jeff without facing him and walking like it’s the end of the world.

She rode the first bus heading to Valencia City’s terminal. Riding the bus was one of the happiest moments that she could ever imagine. But that was only before, way back to her love story, the love story that she had been fighting to forget for more than a year already. Moving on with her heart break when she was caught with the crime of texting in class was far different from the moving-on with her heart break with her past love. But wait; did her mind really dictate the word “past”? Had she really moved on with the said love?

                                                                                                

Everything started when Rhea heard her roommates, Gel, Joy and April talking about their coming reunion with high school friends on the coming summer. Rhea just listened to their topics when a very interesting name had caught attention to her ears.

“Who was that again you’re talking about April?” Rhea asked.   “Who,Ron Sangab?” April inquired. “Exactly, why do you have a friend like that? Didn’t you hear of the crime that his family or relatives did in Maguindanao? You must be very careful in selecting your friends” Rhea warned her roommates. “It’s not what you think Rhea. It’s not Sangaba who had been responsible with the crime in Maguindanao massacre, it’s Sangab. And I’m sure if you’ll get to know him you could really see that he is far different from what you’re thinking right now.” April defended her friend who was being judged. “What I am saying is that they’re all the same guys, all villains. You must distance yourself to people who would caused you trouble. And my mother said that the only kind and good Moro is a Moro who’s sleeping, and I certainly believe her.” Rhea expressed her ideas. Her mind was definitely close about having a Muslim friend and the likes. “Okay, fine. But don’t you ever tell me that you had fallen in love with him when you see him. He is so handsome, frankly speaking” April insisted in promoting her friend. “Okay, we’re good. Don’t judge the book by its cover.” Rhea had said her future tenses, telling her roommates that they ought not to have friends like Ron. She was so close-minded with the thought of having a friend like Ron. She had heard of a drama on a radio program which tells the story of a Christian woman and a Muslim man. The story ended up bloody when they both decided to fight for their love though the heavens fall. She hated that story because she had in mind that loving someone is a choice. And she was implying that Christians and Muslim who fall for each other is simply the people who chooses rebellion and making love as a medium of evil. She never thought of even meeting friends who are Muslim.

She still remembers every detail of their first encounter with Ron. It was as fresh as the waters in the spring. Their love story started when concerns about personal things begun to appear in their exchange of text messages. Rhea thought that it would cause no harm since there will be no chance of seeing Ron for he was far away in Kalilangan. They talked about their likes and bête noire. They talked of their experiences about love and reasons for their decisions in life. They talked of Rhea’s reason for going far from Davao to have her bachelor’s degree and Ron’s reason for not attending college. Discoveries were present and overflowing when Rhea realized that Ron was a very interesting person.

Fiesta in Malinao at Kalilangan took place. Rhea’s roommates decided to go there to have a relaxation since a holiday was on the immediate Monday on that very week. They decided to depart on Friday afternoon and return on the dawn of Tuesday. It was so obvious that Rhea was excited to see Ron.

Rhea could still remember the way Ron drove his black XRM single motor when he came into the gates of the house of Gel. She reminisces of the way Ron reacted when the first time they were introduced to each other. She still cherished his smell of Bench on his black Bum jacket.

Rhea could see how handsome Ron was. She was inside the house of Gel using the karaoke and singing to lessen the tension inside her. She was definitely conscious of how she looked like in front of the mirror beside the karaoke set. She was now half way to explode when Ron and her roommates started to walk inside the house. She was also nervous and went blank on what would be the appropriate reaction for her new friend. Finally, Ron and her roommates were now inside the house. Rhea braced herself for the emotional attacked. She was now holding the glass and a bottle of Boracay Rum tightly when Ron had seen her. She was puzzled like the airways in her chest were blocked by an inward force coming from her heart. Is it what we call the love at first sight? Rhea inquired in her mind. She felt like she was out of the world now. She went closer to Ron and said “Would you mind having a glass of rum? Let’s celebrate now. So, you’re Ron.” They both laugh with each other’s reaction. She could still remember his smile and his nervousness during the shake-hands.

They both spent the weekend like they knew each other for so long already. They were so close, hugging like real lovers and kissing like newlyweds, forgetting the reality of their true identities. Closing her eyes was another torture of pain in her cardiovascular organ. She

remembered how the views of Kalilangan had been the witnesses of how they fell in love with each other.

Like most of the love stories in novels theirs was the kind of love which was actually forbidden or not allowed by the laws and norms. Both of them had thought of stopping and preventing their feelings as strong as the angry winds of the seas. Nobody said it was easy for the two of them. Ron was a Maranao, he had Islam as his religion since he was born. Rhea was a Christian, and she was as religious as her mother and the whole family was. Religion was one of the things that had provided contradiction and conflict in their love story.

Another conflict was that they were both involved into a relationship. Rhea had her one-year relationship with a boyfriend in her hometown that was actually cheating behind her back, plainly obvious to her, but she can’t let him go because he was her mother’s choice while Ron had a long distance affair with someone named Cherry in Manila. Both of them neglected the reality of conflict.

When the romantic days were about to end up, Rhea’s roommates decided to go back to their boarding house on the following day as early as possible. Ron and Rhea were given a time to be alone when they rode the XRM heading to the center part of Kalilangan to visit a wonderful view located at the top of a public high school. Rhea knew that when they will be going back to their school she would probably miss him. And Ron probably would have another girl. She was staring at him like she would never be able to see him again.

“What if we would never see each other again?” Rhea had been serious while looking at the very wonderful view of the whole Kalilangan being presented by the nature. “That would happen if we would be blind” Ron responded, trying to produce a humor to an already very serious woman. “I’m serious.” Rhea responded without life in her words. “I won’t let that happen Rhea. I would go anywhere and in any part of the world just to see you again” Ron was now serious, holding Rhea’s left hand. “We’ll see if we get back to the reality. We would definitely realize the right things that should be done. Maybe we’re just on a whirl wind romance.” Rhea had been pessimistic with her words already.

The days of laughter and overwhelming romance had come to an end. They both bid each other goodbye. Rhea was only holding on to the words of Ron that he would go anywhere just to see her. During Rhea and her roommates’ travel back to the boarding school, Rhea received a text from Ron, telling her that he wouldn’t be able to communicate with her anymore. Ron’s

parents received the news that he had been with a Christian woman which was actually Rhea. Ron didn’t promise anything to her but he made it clear to Rhea that the situation was only permanent and he would do everything to connect to her again. Afterwards, Rhea hadn’t received another text from Ron.

Two days had passed without Ron’s text messages. It broke Rhea’s heart and anticipations of a real love story for just a week and loosing it in just four days. She couldn’t bear another realization of rejection. She wanted to know how Ron’s life was going on. Was it really true that Ron had been grounded by his parents or was it just his trick to avoid her? Theories started mixing up.

She decided to go back to Kalilangan on the following day. She hadn’t slept normally. She was definitely out of control. Her roommates were now uneasy with her determination to see Ron again. She made a reason that she would go with April on their house for the celebration of another fiesta and she would just come back for the next day. Her faith to see Ron again had brought her back to Kalilangan. She was uncertain that she would be able to see Ron in the place of April yet she grabbed even the slightest possibility of seeing him again.

Upon their arrival at April’s place Rhea had been searching for that one thing. They accommodated visitors, ate the prepared foods and celebrated the festivity of the ambiance of the place but it seemed so incomplete.

“Don’t worry, you will see him. I know he’s her” April assured Rhea that her second immediate visit wouldn’t be a waste of time.

The famous quote that says “destiny is not a matter of chance, but a matter of choice” was what Rhea had in mind when she saw Ron, wearing the green Guess jacket that she had given him in exchange with the black Bum jacket that he had given her. Both of their smiles reached their ears. It was like heaven.

The whirlwind romance that Rhea and Ron had experienced lasted for days. Days became weeks and weeks into months. She had never been so happy before. She had seen Ron’s effort, going from Kalilangan to her boarding school just to spend time with her. Ron starts driving his XRM at 9am and reached her boarding school at 11am. They gone dating from places to places until 4pm which would mean Ron’s travel of going back at home.

That set-up went on for months until summer had arrived. Rhea has to go home in Davao and Ron would stay on his hometown, both far away from each other. She was not thinking to end up there, rather she was thinking of starting for Ron and herself. Both of them were now inseparable at that very moment. Both of them were madly in love.

In Rhea’s hometown, she discovered that her boyfriend and her best friend was having an affair and was cheating on her. Her boyfriend’s denial was as strong as her friend’s admission with the crime. It was a long time ago that she had gave up on her boyfriend but now was the right time to end up everything about them.

Rhea made an announcement to Ron that she was as free as the dove, flying in the sky. She was now ready to start on something new. She didn’t know but she felt that Ron’s reaction was far different from what she had expected. Ron was somewhat out of the mood when she talks about having a relationship with her. It was so ironic for her part since all Ron had wanted was to settle their status before.

Summer was about to end and her faith of having a happy love story was getting weaker and weaker. Ron had changed a lot. He was not interested with her anymore, she thought. It was like a great feeling shift. He was not texting and calling her like and every time she demands of a time chatting with her, he was so busy like the things that he was doing were getting so unbelievable.

One day, upon going back to the boarding school, thoughts about him were endlessly coming. She was excited to see him and have the heat of the summer romance be back. She didn’t tell him that she was coming back already for enrolment and of course, to see him.

She was looking at the wonderful views of the bodies of water and mountains that the bus was passing through in the place of Quezon when her phone rang. It was an expression of a text message. She opened her hand bag immediately and looked for her cellphone. She had found out that Ron had texted her. She opened the message box and read. She became nervous when she noticed that it was not Ron who had texted her.

“Lumbo! Lumbo! Bus stop! ” somebody had announced. She opened her eyes for a moment and realized that she was now close to Valencia bus terminal where she would send her identification card. She looked at her watch and inquired for the time. She was being time conscious knowing that she still have classes to attend to right after her appointment in the

terminal. She checked up her phone to see if somebody had texted her. Nobody had texted her. Her inbox was so empty, it was so different during that very moment when text messages had filled her inbox. She went back closing her eyes, reminiscing the past.

It was the cousin of Ron who had texted her. She was accusing her of sending Ron when in fact, she knew that she was a Christian and Ron was different. She was telling her to keep distance on him because Ron’s wedding to another Muslim woman was fast approaching and the family of the woman had just visited Ron’s family several days ago for the arrangement of their wedding.

The truth was like a blade that was cutting through her. She was deeply hurt with the reality. She knew that it would happen and most of the people around them had said something about their relationship but then, both of them seemed to be deaf with love. She decided to end up everything about them. She decided to let go of Ron and decided to made use of her principles that “Love is not definitely blind”. She decided to use her logic instead of following the deceitful thing beating inside her chest. She stopped communicating with him and moved to another boarding house to totally get over with him. Ron had also participated with her plan of moving on despite the pain that they were experiencing. They were doing everything for the right even if it caused had them their shattered dreams and happiness.

Years have passed after the painful ending of their love story but then she had not yet recovered. She still thinks of him like they were still the same lovers. She still inserts her old sim card thinking that he might text her someday. She still go to Valencia almost every day of her life to experience eating the same siopao that they use to it together. She still opens his facebook and look for his pictures. Pain had never left her. Moving on was somewhat impossible. She had never lived normally. She was living her life base on her past. She didn’t know what she would do if ever she would see him again.

Rhea went out of the bus and run to catch another bus heading to Davao. She was certain that if she would be delayed in just minutes then her mother would end up waiting for a length of time with another bus in her hometown. She was in a hurry, holding the envelope so tight, which holds her identification card inside it. She was looking for the bus driver of the bus 2363 heading to Davao when somebody had bumped into her from the back. She was so surprised to see the man from her past, the man that he was thinking about a while ago, and the man that she was dreaming to see for a very long time.

“So, how have you been Rhea?” Ron asked her while they were inside a restaurant near the terminal. She was forced to agree on going out with him. “I’m okay. I’m great. I’m graduating this coming March. How about you? It’s been a while.” Rhea answered Ron. She was really puzzled about her reaction. She was not expecting anything like this. She was thinking that when she would see him again she wouldn’t know the disaster of the things that she was capable of doing of. She was expecting that emotions inside her heart would burst out, but now was different.

There are really times when people tend to feel and think that they are not capable of forgetting someone who had been a part of their lives. They tend to think that life without that someone would be so useless. But when they came to realize that life is more wonderful when they would cherish the special things around them than to focus on the painful past that they have been through, it seemed like their closed eyes for a very long time had been open for a new and happy life that everyone dreams of.

“I am now married Rhea and life has been good” Ron answered her question. “With your very young age? Well anyway, I’m happy for you Ron.” Rhea answered him sincerely. She realized that the feeling was not really there anymore. The feeling was gone. Everything that she needed to move on was already provided. “What’s your order Ma’am, sir?” the waiter had spoken from their back. She smiled and inquired, “Do you have an available siopao here? “Yes we do have Ma’am” the waiter replied her. Ron stared on to her. She said to the waiter “Can I have siopao please?”